My family has never been too tidy. when people apologize for a disorderly house i laugh and say they haven't seen mine. my father can't smell and he thinks that no one else can either. deodorant is just like this pointless task to him. he cant smell it, he doesnt know how bad he smells, so how couldnt he forget to put it on sometimes? only when he raises his arms and our faces become sour do we poke him until he says "alright, alright." He gets angry about my room when there are heaps of who knows what on the floor. but after he's had his coffee he just leaves the kitchen right away because that coffee pot leaks shit EVERYWHERE. don't pretend it doesnt dad, you drink out of it everyday. when my brother lived with us, he liked to take showers in a tropical rainforest setting. do not go into the bathroom with socks, unless you love that wet sock feeling. my mom tells me how she used to be as bad as me about cleaning up. but now she is an organized messy. she has always taken care of the bills and has always had a big heart, with plenty of space for animals. in turn, this allows fur, everywhere, all over. lint rollers are never out of business, vacuum cleaners are constantly choking. all furry things are allowed on the bed, the couch, our clothes. when it rains, footprints, pawprints, muddy comforters, delighted drool. friends of mine have clean couches, pristine counter tops, boring amounts of dust. some have pets that stay outside, they keep the mud in the mud. ive heard of rooms people have that have couches no one is allowed to sit on. that is just ridiculous. sometimes i feel that i should be more embarrassed but, my family is dirty and loving. our cars never smell like new. our clothes are not stiff and pressed. we accept the mud. we sleep with panting beasts. comfort is not always clean. even if you smell bad (we might tell you so) but we will still hold out our open arms.

women say "I want a man who will move mountains for me"
men who dont run from mountains
or try to build around them
men who wont pretend "it's all taken care of"
when evidence clearly shows,
no mountains have been moved.
i dont ask for monumental strength
come on ladies, using a hyperbole to explain what you want
i roll my eyes, but romantically.
i want a man to climb those hyperboles with me
if we run out of oxygen
it wasn't meant to be
and if we never look back
at crumbling where our feet have been
if we move swiftly
carefully yet fiercly
mountains will obey our steps
mountains will allow us,
they will keep me slipping and smiling.
mountains wont be moved by the man i want
because i enjoy the climb,
i dont like it easy
so you better come with me

why do i let my hopes get up?
why dont they just sit down
take a seat, rest awhile
they could just softly tap my shoulder
and say "excuse me, it's time to get up now"
and then i would know
so i would never be let down
just gently eased up when i was told it was right
and nothing would ever be exciting.

we were talking about how they say men end up marrying their mother and girls their father
i ask not for my father's guilt tripping
but that silly sense of humor can stay
now i ask if you think my brother is like your father
and you say only with his temper
and i see similar explosions
you ask me if you're like my mother
and i say yes you are
you take it as a compliment
i do too
i tell you you're sweet and caring
and you're a nurse.
you shake your head at me
"I'm not a nurse."
"yes, you are."
and I imagine you with a tray of snacks
'Can I get you anything? Do you want something to drink? "
you host when it's not even your house
you attend to the unattendable
you want to shine light on the smallest of seeds
you're a nurse