my friend had this quote in one of her notes

“Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being “in love” which any of us can convince ourselves we are.

Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two.”

im covering someone's shift at work. i have to leave very soon. as usual. phoenix was being strange and following me all around the house. he came into the bathroom and tried to squeeze himself into the empty water dish while i was brushing my teeth. of all the things there are to be sad about, i am the most upset i can't share these simple silly things with you. i can't show you how funny he looked. i can't directly tell you. i can't tell you anymore.

I don't want to dream about you,
but when I drift away in sleep,
there are promises of the thoughts I keep,
left over images from my brain;
a reality becoming insane.
when I walk with nightmares
of memory eyed stares,
I'm awake with the thought of you.

or a dream is a message from my heart,
part of the remaining pieces falling away,
echoing for me to let go of them day by day.
just let it play out , time takes time,
accept the pain but don't let it define.
collect yourself, be composure keeping.
Love is too alive to be sleeping,
too rare to be a logical art.

[of mind]

I never put your picture in a frame.
I was afraid to place your stare,
eyes boxed in, squared away,
under the glass, a memory in decay.
I never wanted to take you out of there,
for you to leave your square,
no longer looking there,
your feelings not the same.

i think one of the best compliments you can get is "you're fun to be around"

someone spelled your name wrong even after i had spelled it out.

it made me angry. that's not the way you spell it.
you're missing something there.
it's a silent letter but it stands its ground.
it's a quiet vowel with presence.
it might not seem to make a difference,
but small things usually do.
it might not seem important,
but it's still a part of you.

I think my heart is too big. I think lovers sleep there because they know they can. Plenty of space to stretch out their arms. Plenty of pride to be harmed. Too much warmth to wrap around. I said, I'm feeling cold. At least I am aware of this. At least I might take care of this. At least I don't have the least of space to share. Full and soaked with signals from my brain. I cant fit this heart in my chest anymore. I have to wring out my pain, only to be filled again.

grow from the ash.

i have to.

i have to do what's best for me. i have to close my heart for awhile. i can't even see what you write or have to say because it sucks me in. i've been sucked in and now it hurts. you know how i feel. i wish i could deal with it and not have to be dramatic and delete things but the only way i can rebuild myself is if i stop wading through my thoughts. i can dissect and pick a part but it doesnt get me anywhere. it doesnt mend a broken heart.

"i dont want the world, i only want what i deserve."

if you love someone, let them...

yeah, you know i see what it says.yours is broken too? it seems like you were never mine from what it all says. i don't think you are anybody's. you are the breeze. you are carried away. i dont have to chase after you anymore. everything i wanted far too early. too restless. i have this silly idea we might meet again. don't hurt yourself with thought, laura. you need to take a shower now and get ready for school. you have people to meet up with today. people who have been missing you. Get up.

remember when you miss them
that they chose for you to.
they prefer their own company
over yours.
remember words sliced you up
& memories try to heal wounds.
no sunny day with sandwiches
will bring you back to me.