My attention, my energy was depleting 
so I reached for anything, something. yours. 
I closed my eyes to the dark so I could 
shut it out & control it first by doing it myself.  
I pulled you over my head like a sweater that waits 
for this time of year. 
It felt good to be wrapped up rather than unraveled. 
I for once was feeling the warmth around me 
instead of hugging other shoulders. 
But warm is heavy when you're not ready. 
I wondered when this was all going to rip apart. 
I wondered when you would find prettier skin to fit 
around. So I lifted you over my head. You held me 
& watched me shed. 
I peeled you away until I showed you how cold 
I could be. I told you I felt trapped & the wind 
made me feel alive. I wasn't done with the pain; 
shivering from something that's been taken. 
I wasn't done with falling to the floor,
crying for fire that's not there anymore. 
I wanted to feel that sharp sting on my cheeks 
from air almost too cold to breathe...
to feel truly weak. I became what exhausted me. 
I wasn't done breaking my own heart. 

.Laura Curren.