family

i went christmas shopping with my dad. i played the quietest cd mix i have for the drive to the mall (because he says that some of the singers i listen to sound like they are on fire). he told me his favorite order of pets. We have 5. Before I tell you the order he chose, here is some background information about this ark of pets:

Harlow, the forever short and stout english lab. she looks like a puppy, always. when you come home it is the most exciting thing that has ever happened to her, every time. she must put something in her mouth in order to show you just how excited she is/to present something to you. this means mouthfuls of mud and leaves if mud and leaves are nearby. her mouth shows no mercy. often times there will be a shredded something on the stairs to the front door. shredded package, shredded pillow. destroyed hairbrush, splintered fragments everywhere. hacked up shoe. something you didnt even consider appealing or chewable to a dog, such as: my mom's blue tooth. will chew everything in her path if in reach, but she is so fucking adorable none of this matters. she is known for her ass wiggle and sticking out her paw as if to shake your hand. quickly wants to leave the room if you dont pay attention to her. does not understand you not wanting to pay attention to her. she will also try to escape out of the gate when you are leaving and then proceeds to circle the car because she thinks were going to take her somewhere fun.

Luna, the strange and awkward mix of Australian shephard and German shephard. stuck in the teenage body of a dog. she used to pee everytime i came home. i dont know what changed but occasionally on some very weird occurrence she will leave behind a puddle of her confusing joy. she is quiet and eats delicately. she will also lick your face off, aiming specifically for your mouth. she is obedient and sometimes stares at you creepily. once you stop paying attention to her she will lose all sense of this obedience and move about spastically until you clap/snap/ weird combination of sounds and tell her to go away. her eyes have the longing look of a sibling that always comes in second.

Black and White Cat- yes, that is his name because we couldn't think of names for the cats when I was in sixth grade. always around. can be found sleeping in most rooms of the house. perpetually frightened. runs away everytime my boyfriend enters the room. huge eyes and tuxedo patterned fur. any sudden movement is good for a scare. although, when cornered he can hold his ground by swatting paws and growling. sometimes we mistake him for Black Cat when we see his tail but when he turns around to reveal his big terrified eyes, we are disappointed he is not Black Cat.

Black Cat, a badass. affectionate and adventurous. looks like a mini mini panther. used to come home with all kinds of scars on his head from cat battling. all healed now except for a small mike tyson piece of his ear missing. the kind of cat you can push down to pet and rub his belly. sometimes he makes rare appearances, and when he does it always a delight. he enjoys the company of his family. has the air of a cat veteran. he will not make friends with Phoenix, but is patient with him.

Phoenix- an orange bag of fluff. possibly one of the prettiest cats i've seen but a serious attitude sometimes. he roams about as he pleases but is often found sleeping in the dog bed or my mother's chair, or waiting at the food bowl. somehow, he is always just around the corner. he tries to attack harlow. tries to befriend Black Cat. his extremely fluffy tail reminds me of a phoenix's long swooping tail. because he can be so whiny it only makes you want to capture him more. he was much sweeter as a kitten, but once he discovered independence he'd never go back
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Jake, not really our pet but, basically. enormous lab/retriever mix. giant head and mouth, but he is still a baby at heart. skittish sometimes. any loud sound and he is the first to run away. any strange placement of furniture or even grocery bags and he will not walk around them, he will just look at them timidly. yawns very loudly. puts his head on your lap when youre eating. has one of the best begging faces ive seen. lumbers around our yard. destroys toys in record time. gets very excited about new toys, he even has a special prancing dance ritual that he does around the new sacrifice. expressive small brown eyes. sleeps a lot. tries to sleep while harlow chews on his face. our "grandchild"

my dad says, "my favorite pets are in the order as follows"
1. Black Cat
2. Jake
3. Phoenix (almost a tie with Jake)