when you're feeling sad

You open the door,
but just as I think I have made it in,
you shut it on my chest,
my lungs collapse on its hinges
& my heart is shaking out onto a pillow.
I'm swallowed by sheets,
but they dont hold me like you,
they don't kiss my neck & slide inside of me,
they are flat &, without dimension, I am too.
I am wandering in a depthless blue,
I am thinking up sad lyrics of you,
I am walking in my own shoes.
My soul stays in my eyes & does not bounce off of you,
& I don't look so good these days, its true.
They say some new clothes & color might perk things up,
but I don't find you on a hanger or in box,
I wish maybe that I could put you there though,
because you hang on the hooks of my thoughts,
you tangle the wants and what I oughts,
& in defense I make a shield of superficial strength,
until it becomes my own abilities and skin
until I become the door worth looking in.