When I was small & more unsure
I pretended to be mad & smash my toys
when my dad was yelling everything out of of him.
Anger seemed better
than addressing the real fear
that love can scare you too.
I mimick the moods of the ones I'm with.
I'm sad if they're sad.
I try to understand
by feeling the same way too.
Lovers take notice.
I absorb too much or become aloof.
"Don't take it personally,"
Well I do.
"It's not about you,"
no- but I feel it from you.
Why even begin
& that fight in my head sometimes wins.
If I can't fix it I'll be it.