uhhh

nope.

these are old.

'05-'06?

Easing to the side, parks her car,
8:45 a.m.
For she has found resolution,
and the absolute beauty of
merging onto the right hand shoulder.
Sits in the last adjustable seat of trial,
exiting words the polished name of her son.
Hoping to be saved by speeding closure,
had this appointment all her life.
Steps out in the road,
and well the bus driver-
the last excitement he found
was the pickle in his sandwich
purchased at the deli by his wife
(he's allergic to pickles,
he swears she's trying to kill him),
promptly hits this resolved woman at 8:48 a.m.
And as the smoke curls out of this giant hearse,
he realizes they were both right on schedule.


'04

Oh honey I'm just lonely.
I have you here,
But it doesn't seem
to make any difference.
As useful as a picture in a frame,
I can't breathe life through the glass.
They say it's a stab to the heart,
but i don't believe so.
It wasn't easing a knife in,
it was pulling one out.
All of it was one sleek blade,
sharpened to the tip,
carefully held in,
loosening every so often,
until it was plucked out.
The shock of its absence
made me faint.
Oh honey I'm just lonely.

indeed

i'd like to be your muse.

lmfwknjegds

10/19/07

When this dull quiet comes to pull at my eyes,

And these late hours strangle my thoughts,

I cant help but think of what condition you are in.

Are you so tangled in old doubts,

That you cant bear to breathe freely?

Are your edges so prickled,

That no hand of hope can smooth them?

Have you fallen down my ribs,

and been bruised by every bone?

Have you slipped into that vague pit,

Where fragile wings of past land on you,

But never flutter just the same?

And when your song never plays just as fast,

I wonder if you will slump further down,

Until i am walking on you

Like some tired piece of gum,

Hoping you will be stuck to someone else.

1/19/09

my heart decided to leave one day,
shriveled and shrank in its porcelain cave,
squeezed down canals of pleasure and pain,
it wanted to travel this world of skeletal frame.
down its twisted paths with hesitant eyes
but growing bigger and bursting at the sides
by soaking up knowledge the further it went,
flowing warmth to colder continents;
hands and feet and corners of mind
discovering who it was and of its kind.
pumping back up ladders of bone
and returning back to its home.

fleeting

Hi I'm
& you're
we should
sometime
& we'll
& then
become
& after awhile
if you're
& I'm
then we'll
but if
then it was
undone
& I'm
& you're
we used to
before.

i wish

that i didn't care so much sometimes.

looking back

I remember being in love with you
quietly 
yet bursting out of me.
I remember when we talked about relationships;
you told me about 
the girl who wanted too much of you,
& settled for bottle labels
when she couldn't claim you with her own,
the girl who sought the looks you gave her in other faces,
the friend you had always loved but couldn't have.
I felt like telling you that it would all be okay eventually,
that you would find somebody amazing & wonderful
& a world of overused adjectives
that can't really describe just how beautiful they truly are
but you said “I really don’t care.”
I replied without much thought, “that’s all I care about.”
& I knew you would never be mine.

21

these colors swirl around me;

in my stomach,

in my mind,

stolen from my skin.

running ink,

asleep at the climax,

extreme daylight savings.

just one more, not enough.

no patience,

no control,

enough to bruise,

enough to never be,

only a loss of memory.