Sunday, November 29, 2020

I can't threaten empathy into you 

or shake some sense into that dense 

train of thought. 

The reaction is seductive

but it creates what I try to sweep away.

I have to be careful though, 

to not let all this brushing off 

to create friction in me 

& set fires to the strings that tug at me the most.

I want to feel justified, 

but angry boy who becomes a man,

I see that in you too.

I see elements out of your control cause a storm. 

The best way you can see through it

is to be scarier than what scares you;

to be the wolf, always the wolf, 

to show people this is what you know from life so far,

not even bothering with sheep’s clothing.

But even a beast 

surviving solely by its sharp spirit & teeth, 

still howls a lonely song to the moon.


.Laura Curren.

Monday, August 17, 2020







I swallow tears so they don’t leak through the phone

& I agree quietly when you say to me,

“You know I’ve always been kind of a gypsy.” 

The cries I stifle meet the voice I haven’t let speak,

where they wade in the “deep down,” 

where I’ve always known.

I feel lost but can retrace steps.

I kept a lantern lit in my heart for you. 

I felt a pull to the flame 

whenever I’d see you again.

A story ignited in your eyes;

was it yours or was it mine?  

We created chemistry out of chaos. 

You’d be calling me everyday 

& I answered like I always have.

It felt like you were coming back to me. 

& maybe a gypsy can have a home,

temporarily.

          

           .Laura Curren.

Wednesday, August 21, 2019









                                   Hey.
                                   I think I left my coat 
                                   & some baggage on &/or around you
                                   & I think maybe I left that last    
                                   conversation hanging in the air
                                   framed around that sad stare of yours,
                                   around those eyes telling me something 
                                   I don’t want to hear. 
                                   You were using telekinesis 
                                   to break my heart. 
                                   You were bending & shaping 
                                   my experience, 
                                   reminding me of my stubborn & impatient side 
                                   & that the world can hurt you with truths
                                   but also lies; 
                                   my mind gets to decide 
                                   which is worse.
                                   No one can tell me. 
                                   I’ll find out for myself

                                   because I need my coat back.

Saturday, May 4, 2019








                                  Ripples of flames 
                                  consume the cells in my brain 
                                  & I am the blood rushing 
                                  towards whatever I let ignite me.
                                  Our touches kiss,
                                  I rearrange my hips,
                                  & forget about carrying my body 
                                  & thoughts around
                                  as you go down. 
                                  but I grab your hair
                                  to let you know 
                                  part of me is still there,
                                  lost in this familiar chase,

                                  falling into a vulnerable embrace.

                                          .Laura Curren.

Sunday, April 7, 2019












               I love you like 
               overplaying my favorite song.
               I love you like 
               the pair of jeans I've worn for too long.
               Even when I get tired of the melody,
               even when you rip & you're tired of holding me,
               I still miss the feeling.

                       .Laura Curren.











                              On an episode of Forensic Files

                           Imagine being an envelope manufacturer 
                           & the machine that slices the stacks of paper 
                           into its shape has made a mistake 
                           & the flaps of glue don’t meet & match.
                           This is overlooked by the packagers
                           & is sent to the shelves with defunct folds.
                           How embarrassing to not deliver 
                           what it always strives to be, 
                           but imagine now that this seemingly stupid flaw
                           solves a murder. 
                           The killer’s typed threats were held 
                           & discovered by the odds of this error.

                                                .Laura Curren.

Saturday, April 6, 2019










                                                               An Ode to Fuckboys

                          Tell me what you like
                          but not what you're like.
                          Something casual,                                       
                          nothing serious.
                          You're all pictures
                          & no description.
                          I know labels make you nervous
                          but my friends don't  
                          take my clothes off.
                          I know there's more pressure 
                          once you know my middle name 
                          & my birthday. 
                          I know expectations frighten you 
                          in the worst way
                          but a vague text about bad timing 
                          should get you off the hooks 
                          you've strategically been dodging.       
                          The reasons why you've been backflipping 
                          over dealing with feelings
                          can only be found
                          by sifting through your loneliness,
                          but that's not fun,
                          that doesn't make you cum. 
                          So until then, 
                          I hope you find the something 
                          & the nothing you're looking for. 
                         
                                   .Laura Curren. 
                          

                       

Wednesday, February 27, 2019









                   I liked having you nearby,
                   just around the corner,
                   always almost there.
                   I was thinking about it,
                   all the what if,
                   & maybe in another world
                   I would be yours
                   & you would be mine 
                   & all the what if 
                   became what is.

                               .Laura Curren.

Monday, February 25, 2019







              Why am I so preoccupied 
              with wasting my time?
              Whether it’s 
              typing on a magical rectangle-
              handheld or lap,
              why do I 
              escape myself?
              through someone else, 
              all the episodes of a show, 
              by staying up late,
              staying tired & out of it, 
              having the sudden urge 
              to put on a playlist 
              & clean every last corner 
              except for what’s going on inside,
              everything looking pretty 
              without admitting 
              it needs to be fixed.


              .Laura Curren. 

Thursday, January 17, 2019




             Why would you attack your own face? 
             That’s like the billboard of your details,
             the display case of your moods.
             Why would you show people
             this is how you treat yourself,
             this is what you do. 
             Beauty is in the heart,
             but what you see affects you.
             I can’t tell you why 
             my fingernails become knives
             & pick at every suggestion of imperfection. 
             but I would say  
             this is a weird form of control.
             This is a strange way to hinder myself.
             Some small relief 
             for a bigger picture I don’t want to see.
             It’s a compulsion
             to dig at the surface but not within.
             I can edit myself & paint on my pride,
             I can hide behind sunglasses 
             & filters
             but ultimately,
             I can’t mask my mentality.

              .Laura Curren.


Wednesday, November 14, 2018










                I hope you love yourself
                so you can love life too.
                I hope you learn to laugh, 
                even in the darkness of your own thoughts. 
                Please don’t be afraid
                when you have a taste 
                of bittersweet vulnerability.
                I hope you walk confidently, 
                that your fears won’t outweigh 
                all the wonderful you can be.
                I hope you speak clearly 
                & your words are crafted from compassion
                (which your mom & dad are full of).
                I hope you grow up knowing 
                that your heartbeat
                is connected to a long chain of love, 
                years in the making.
                In the end I’d like to believe
                it’s all the love you’ve ever given or received,
                embracing & supporting you, 
                every moment of beauty permeating your soul,
                every feeling & memory, every affinity
                suspended into infinity. 
                If I’m not here for you physically, 
                my love always will be.

                love,
                auntie Laura 



Wednesday, October 10, 2018







                                                                       



                                                                

                                       My dad gave me a sense of humor & his nose,
                                my mom gave her chin & optimism.
                                I’m somewhere between 
                                his realism & her mysticism.
                                I have their defense mechanisms,
                                mannerisms, 
                                & probably more isms. 

                                When I was shy & small,
                                I inherited both of their shells
                                but shy becomes awkward as an adult
                                so I’m a party turtle now,
                                fun loving & social 
                                but wanting to disappear 
                                into my own home. 
                                I poke my head out 
                                & check the weather,
                                hoping to improve myself
                                                                       
                                because I am the love
                                I give & take,     
                                animated by
                                the energy I create,
                                passed on to whoever I make,
                                whoever let’s me into 
                                their space or experience. 

                                .Laura Curren.








                       
                       The pharmacist said it was like a forest fire
                       & whichever medication I choose 
                       won't bring back the burnt trees 
                       but it will fight about 30-60% of the flames.
                       I can't get my trees back?

                       It’s a strange thing to be told my body 
                       is working against me. 
                       It’s a strange thought to wonder if I gave this to myself 
                       from doubt & worry & stress,
                                             self sabotaging or blaming the wrong things
                       or too many beauty products or microwaved meals,
                       who knows.
                       I think in some ways I’ve always avoided myself
                       so this was a rude physical reminder 
                       that my time gets eaten by those who don’t offer
                       transparency to me,     
                       That wrestling my self doubt is actually won 
                       by asking why it’s there.