Thursday, October 20, 2011

an argument's decay

Cold is safe right?
reserved, preserved
to the back
save it for later
contain it
shelf it
all the ingredients
but not right now
and warm is
fleeting & teeming
out in the open
spoiling to the eyes
a natural death
the flies i can see
the mold right in front of me
id rather put it out
than find it
some absurd time later
when its long forgotten
and you cant help but say
"Oh my god, that's disgusting. How long has that been back there?"

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

it was a year ago or maybe two,
im getting older if im mixing up years,
but i said to you:
"I wanna take care of you"
and i meant it in the way that
i wanted you to take care of me
to look at me when i cant see
and tell me where i am
to smooth the lines under my tired eyes
rub my back as my hangover spills out of me
to sleep on the grass with me
in the sun,
in the rain, in a box, if we're homeless
to look up at the sky with me
and wish on burning balls of gas
that this will truly last
i need your thoughtful & mindless time to share
i want new miles and music
i want your deepest darkest, your surfaced, lightest
i want your poetic, dramatic, & your cheesy & spastic
i want your everything a day at a time
to really know you, but still get puzzled
for you to really know me, and the shapes i fit to be
to look at me with all my holes and split seams
and think that i could only be found in dreams
to be stubborn right back to me
take none of my nonsense and i won't take yours
but give me your thoughts, your speech
show me levels that haven't been reached
deep inside of you, deep inside of me
and when i can't always speak,
i need the language of affection
i need legs and arms tangled around me
in webs of blankets and squeezing
i need to be me
i need you to be you
and in order for that
"I wanna take care of you" (each other)
but you took it the wrong way
and maybe you felt vulnerable without a car or room to call your own
but i never saw you as that
the man i want to be with, without these things
i just saw you
and now i see you
getting upset about me saying that
and i see some short time later,
at the end of your mother's birthday dinner
me giving her a hug,
thanks for being born so i could be with your son,
i was always hesitant to hug her, but i did this time
it felt right,
and it was arms full of appreciation
and in this shared moment,
she whispered to me,
just to me,
"Thank you for taking care of him."

Saturday, October 8, 2011

the last few poems, writings, whatever you wanna call em,
have sucked.
no appropriate adjective really, just the verb of suctioning
because all i can offer is a vacuous pull at the moment.
my apologies.
dont really know who im apologizing to either
uh, myself?
i dont like how you creep back in
how i wonder if youre okay
i dont like that this mightve been how you felt
about a girl you couldnt give up
i dont like that the sweetness can become sticky
sometimes love spikes the punch of pain
because im falling in love
while shedding you off
like the old skin i used to wear
like the old fears i used to carry
and there you are peeled off on the floor
a part of me i cant put back on
i love you with all the past in my heart

Saturday, October 1, 2011

but how do you feel?

to feel:
1. to have perception by touch or by any nerves of sensation other than those of sight, hearing, taste, and smell.
2. to have a sensation of (something), other than by sight, hearing, taste, or smell
3. to perceive a state of mind or a condition of body: to feel happy, to feel well
4. to find or pursue (one's way) by touching, groping, or cautious moves ("feeling it out")
5. to be or become conscious of.
6. to be emotionally affected by
7. to have a sensation of being

"I feel way too good touching your hand,"
she said, the words tumbled out of her lips
and oops just like passion to spill it all out there
in this moment of skin brushing skin
after feeling affection first inside
she wanted to give her feelings on high
the gravity of her fingertips
gravitated toward his
and he felt this pulse under his skin too
reaching out for the feelings he felt too
feelings confirmed by an accidental very purposeful touch.
an accidental very purposeful movement
a very clear picture of a blur
a primal fire evolved with lust and love
the need to be regarded and touched;
our hearts pump
so that we are conscious mentally.