you know somedays you were so poetic i had to roll my eyes
you saw them roll all over you
and because youre so goddamn deep you felt it too
it was dramatic though, because its how we are
even with my blues and greens rolling rolling
it means you kept them in motion
it means my eyes were never still with you
they opened, they cried, they winced, they crinkled, they sighed
and im sorry if i made you feel like a joke
maybe your poetry made it hard to deal with my own thoughts
maybe the way you spoke made it harder to avoid myself
your depth was beautiful, i know it was
i drowned in it from time to time
and i could only reach for your words
but they were slippery and
the lack of touch caused me to sink again and again
i look back at your words now and it hurts to see how far they go
how far they were felt and could have been
how they fell from your mouth and all the way down to your feet
cuz youre that fuckin deep

wednesday nights

the quality in me to pick apart
is bound to the mentality that its justified
im a basket case of wonders
if opened correctly
the wonders will come first
the case second
if i sound crazy
you can call me that
if i sound like a fool
you can call me that
but my heart
it just beats so big

theres always another side to things.
sometimes people who are impulsive arent that way just because theyre rash...they can also feel deeply without appearing to. they can seem to not give a fuck, and yeah sometimes they really don't...but when fucks are given...when thoughts do stir behind their feelings...they can feel deeper than a logical person would. their (my) life might not all be together....they (I) might drop out of school, they (I) might make bad choices because it felt right at the time...but I can promise you their love, when its real, is a fire from the inside. a fire from the heart that spreads, that melts the concrete, the black and white, the lines and rules of things. and if it has turned to ash there is always the possibility of rising again. burning bright and feeling the heat again.

maybe they dont have the capacity to clearly map out situations or truly analyze the consequences of actions, but when they feel- they feel it with everything, with all the chaos inside and out, with all the passion of an abrupt and unexpected kiss, they are of action and that does not mean without words...its just that everything they feel or think might spill out more readily than the reserved. the regret is from what has been done rather than what hasnt been done. so yeah you can call me destructive, or impulsive, and my actions are shouting over my words, but I don't doubt that when my feelings are genuine they come from the deeper depths of me.