feelin snarky

I remember when my views
were solid and ideal
and they became
crumbly and realistic
oh sweetheart
it's nice that you see like that
that you believe
he's never done the things
you list as so selfish
so completely
out of line
out of hand
but you don't know
and you won't
and that's good
and thats nice
and maybe I was the mistake
that made him think twice
maybe im the example
to thrive from
but don't think it's because youre bettter

Happy birthday mom!

Happy birthday mom!
You tried to show me a world
beyond your pant legs when I was small.
You were so patient with me
when I slammed my door,
when I taped up signs written in scented markers
that said "go away!"
So understanding
when my feelings grew more complex
as they are prone to do, the longer there is of you.
You wished you could take away my pain
but reminded me not to shove it away
like the wondrous mess under my bed.
When my tears became more defined by the thoughts behind them,
you explained that being judgmental isn't good for you,
that a negative mind produces a negative life,
& to have an open heart and an open mind.
You were so comforting
when there were days it hurt to keep my eyes open,
always keep them open you remind me.
Days when I couldn't handle becoming an adult
and crawled up on your bed like a little girl again.
You taught me to have a silliness that swirls in my eyes,
to have curiosity and create my own interests,
to keep the fires in my heart aflame.
You gave me life
& showed me how to make it mine.
It started with your abundant love
that spilled into my own kind of love.
You taught me how to use it
& you showed me why.
Thank you for a
a life to love and a love to live