one of those posts

It's one of those weeks that i can tell will be difficult.

Today I started walking to class, late, as usual, but I decided that I should go to the library to work on my sociology paper. I came out of the library and I weakly smiled at and walked right past the assistant teacher of the class I had just skipped and then I also walked right past the teacher of the class I had just skipped. I know he saw me and like an idiot I just looked away and walked by faster. yeah, just walked right by with my bright red hair. maybe he didn't know it was me. sheepish is the word of the day. I've also been so spacey that i completely forgot that my midterm for that class is due this week, so in my desperate attempts i've been trying to email classmates to see if they will help me. I hope I have some pinch of good luck with that. 

I also (without meaning to) forgot to put back the earrings i "borrowed" from my mom and with my annoying habit of just leaving things all over the place (i actually noticed I did that less when I was on medication) i'm not even sure of where i did leave them. She always has to remind me to put her things back or not take them out of the room and I don't want to be that kind of daughter.

I'm not looking forward to going to classes this week.

I still have to finish this sociology paper

I still stilllllll have to finish this sociology paper.

I hate that I don't want to talk to you. Actually today I wanted to, but it was too much to think about.

I don't understand why you mention hanging out, it absolutely baffles me. 

Sometimes I really think about going to the community college back home. I feel more comfortable there, I feel that I have more friends and focus there, and of course it'd be nice to be closer to blaine. but as much as i love my parents, now that ive had a taste of having my own room here free of family supervision...it'd be hard to give up. but i have to face it, im not doing my best here, im not trying nearly as hard as i should be and it doesnt make me feel good. 

ive flaked and been flaked on...flakity flake flake. that doesnt make me feel good either. 

I've been with/seen Blaine everyday pretty much for the last 2 weeks, and it's only monday and he doesn't have his phone. I want to complain about all these things to him but it's only Monday and he doesn't have his phone. I feel like a baby for missing him after only a couple days, but I can't help it. I know I will miss him terribly when he leaves for a month. but the fact that i have a wonderful person to miss terribly makes this a little easier to write.