When I was younger,
I didn't know my thoughts could wrestle my talents,
That my attitude was the wring leader.
I glamorized a life I didn't have,
The paparazzi of others people's lives.

But being shy has its own special skill,

Its' own subtle kill.

As I grew into an awkward angst,
My questions aimed more at myself;
Why am I
What did I
What am I
& I found that I'm startled sometimes by what I say,
That the observations from the sidelines apply today.
At times I feel an ocean pulled into my chest.
What I let in depends on within.
Deeper depths may leave me out of breath
& I could sink in solitary dark,
Or I could spit out insecure anchors
& rise to my standards & swim.