I used to have you in my phone
              as really immature names
like
        Fuckface
or 
        Dickhead
because what a great way 
to show that I'm still pissed off.
              How absolutely childish
to give you a name to make you unappealing,
to tarnish the quality of my experience with you
with mostly dick imagery.
But everytime I let you back in
              I felt a part of me was left out,
a compromise for what you couldn't give.
So yes,
              it's childish to have named you Penis Face
with capital letters and everything,
to show you I meant it as a serious name,
but it's because whenever  I saw your name
              I put too much emphasis on it
              I fell in love with the letters too
because they belonged to you,
an association.
             I fell in love with the promise
the fantasy of the future. 
This is how love rushes over me in such a way
            that I cant help but be swept away
                                    by the tides of my own feelings; 
             the water feels warm
& I'm tired of the day walking me around
             so I let the sensation
             of the two worlds first kiss 
                                    flow through the rivers 
                                         of my nerves.
                              I bend to your touch
& no matter how hard I try,
                & whatever you are called at the time,
          my walls become suggestions
& your laughter leaves me disarmed.

He pulls a rope you have wrapped around your mind,

        never really wanting to see where it all ends, 

                 why its all intertwined.

He keeps your ideas entertained. 

He feeds an attention you crave.

He keeps you close

       but feeling empty 

                 & wanting more. 

As long as he holds you

        there's no telling you 

 that those who deserve you 

        don't just pull,

             they unravel the rope;

strand by strand

        with the determination of time 

             until 

The dark parts of you 

        are defeated by the light you see in yourself.