I used to have you in my phone
as really immature names
because what a great way
to show that I'm still pissed off.
How absolutely childish
to give you a name to make you unappealing,
to tarnish the quality of my experience with you
with mostly dick imagery.
But everytime I let you back in
I felt a part of me was left out,
a compromise for what you couldn't give.
it's childish to have named you Penis Face
with capital letters and everything,
to show you I meant it as a serious name,
but it's because whenever I saw your name
I put too much emphasis on it
I fell in love with the letters too
because they belonged to you,
I fell in love with the promise
the fantasy of the future.
This is how love rushes over me in such a way
that I cant help but be swept away
by the tides of my own feelings;
the water feels warm
& I'm tired of the day walking me around
so I let the sensation
of the two worlds first kiss
flow through the rivers
of my nerves.
I bend to your touch
& no matter how hard I try,
& whatever you are called at the time,
my walls become suggestions
& your laughter leaves me disarmed.