I quietly listened to the rain
& my beating heart today.

I focused on cleaning my house,

clearing old energy out,

energy that doesn't suit me, 

doesn't feel right,

energy that grabs my throat

& lays me down in uncertainty 

so I don't know whether to leave.

I try to rid myself of the nostalgia of romance,

but there you are

ripping off our pants,

pulling everything aside, 

pushing at my walls

as they pull you in,

grabbing at my skin. 

So yes, it's hard not to think of you in a sexual way

because chemistry told us to behave that way.

I wish you well without touching you

because my feelings betray what I should do.