It's hard to be so contradictory sometimes
a shy waitress
a lazy smart
affectionate and distant
open and closed off
a terrible communicator
who wants to reach everyone
I want to be in the social center
and left alone all the same
I want you to look at me
but not too hard
I want to laugh and talk for hours
but I don't want you to sit with me when I'm eating
but I do...
I want you to answer all my questions
but keep me guessing
give me your love
but don't just give it to me
I want to be known
but not criticized
I want to be grounded
I want to escape
I want to be honest
but I heard the truth hurts
I dont want to hurt
but Im bored if I dont
I want to be the best version of me
but I'm afraid of it
I don't know what I want