Out of nowhere I feel my heart drop to the floor.
          You really hurt me sometimes & hurt 
          is the simplest word for that.
          A picture frame of what I thought            
          falls & breaks
          & I can replace what was there
          but there's always a mess to clean up
          & some messes take longer than others
          & sometimes I want to hide & forget.
          I could probably get drunk,
          which is likely at some point;
          I'll send my poisonous friend
          down the maze to my stomach
          to escape the one in my head.
          I could just sip & forget
          then come home & remember
          & maybe drink some more
          but that doesn't sweep it off the floor.
          Ever since I was a little girl 
          with thoughts to be thought,
          I've dreamed of loving you,
          but I know that means 
          loving your messes too.
          Even in those moments riddled with uncertainty,
          those moods that scrape at my patience
          & tell me I just can't deal with you today,
          I just can't.
          Days when the fire inside me 
          is catching on other people's curtains
          & I'm blaming them for how it started
          or when it feels like there's no fire at all,
          & I'm looking,looking for something
          that I'm not even sure is lost.
          Some days it feels like we're all wrong-
          but I will always be in love with you,life,
          because we belong 
          together.