I'm avoiding myself so much lately 

it's like I'm being my own ex boyfriend,

it's like I want all the benefits of sex

but with a disconnect.

I can pretend I'm there

but my mind slips into the cracks of the Internet.

My fingers swipe left & right faster than my legs.

My face but not my brain is illuminated.

I am lost in 

my own fantasies, 

my couch,

my doubt. 

I don't see what's in front of me;

another dimension of intentions

waiting for active players 

all abandoning their apps, games, & chat 

looking up & into the eyes of reality.