My dad gave me a sense of humor & his nose,

                                my mom gave her chin & optimism.

                                I’m somewhere between 

                                his realism & her mysticism.

                                I have their defense mechanisms,

                                mannerisms, 

                                & probably more isms. 

                                When I was shy & small,

                                I inherited both of their shells

                                but shy becomes awkward as an adult

                                so I’m a party turtle now,

                                fun loving & social 

                                but wanting to disappear 
                                into my own home. 

                                I poke my head out 

                                & check the weather,

                                hoping to improve myself

                                                                       

                                because I am the love
                                I give & take,     
                                animated by

                                the energy I create,

                                passed on to whoever I make,

                                whoever let’s me into 

                                their space or experience. 

                                .Laura Curren.

                       

                       The pharmacist said it was like a forest fire

                       & whichever medication I choose 

                       won't bring back the burnt trees 

                       but it will fight about 30-60% of the flames.

                       I can't get my trees back?

                       It’s a strange thing to be told my body 

                       is working against me. 

                       It’s a strange thought to wonder if I gave this to myself 

                       from doubt & worry & stress,

                                             self sabotaging or blaming the wrong things
                       or too many beauty products or microwaved meals,
                       who knows.

                       I think in some ways I’ve always avoided myself

                       so this was a rude physical reminder 

                       that my time gets eaten by those who don’t offer
                       transparency to me,     

                       That wrestling my self doubt is actually won 
                       by asking why it’s there.