9/24

If I could tell you what the years mean to me.
If I could express the kind of love that ages with you,
that sees you when youre awkward,
when there was still a gap between your front teeth,
when your heart was first spat out,
when your father was harsh about art and what it means,
when people questioned your fashion, your sense,
your wisdom, your words, your scenes.
If I could show you you are so beautiful when youre vulnerable,
when you let it all spill out,
when the words youve locked away roll off those big eyelashes of yours.
If I could let you know that
that maze of a mind of yours still so amazes me,
you would probably say I have cheesy puns,
but I wont stop making them for you.
You say I embarrass you sometimes
and im so sorry for my oblivious mouth,
but I wont stop learning from you.
If I could tell you it is such a relief to see you recover
to see the light return to your eyes,
to hear your laugh climb back up your ribs
and bounce around in my ears, loud and alive.
It reminds me of all the years
of wanting to hear that sound.
Because I have known you a long time I know this means
that sometimes the world will wound you
and the laughter may be lost in your chest,
that sometimes we forget to say how much all these things mean,
but the bond we have, no matter how distant we may be in mind or miles,
makes me who I am and is a part of me,
it has helped me to be myself,
and even if I could tell you all this
you still wouldn't really know how much that means to me