cant sleep

my heart is a complicated creature to say the very least
i feel as though it has a life of its own sometimes
and it doesnt tell me about it until im dumbstruck.
it has soft spots,
which makes it quiet and reflective,
a moody teenager that might snap at you,
tender to the core, searching for understanding
dramatic & maybe even a little violent at times
but ultimately, strong & sincere
& meaning well, i think
it is slowly discovering itself
unraveling only for those who pull at the right strings
because I know my heart can be startling & abrasive
it can be reckless & deserves a speeding ticket sometimes
but I promise it is full & shines in my eyes
it can fill my whole body in fact,
so much so that I cant always speak
& that doesnt mean i dont have the words...
im just so overwhelmed that ill let it take over for a moment
i will embrace the twists of pain in its path
i will welcome those questionable clouds
because i know that when i feel myself getting cold,
i am still capable of producing fire
i can feel flames in my veins, if i let it happen
& that all depends on me, on my own blame
how i choose to decorate my wounds is my choice alone
and i know, when i meet somebody
my heart travels past the safety of logic
it takes a trip with guarded excitement
it slowly unpacks, unlocks & opens to show
this is what im bringing, this is what i have
this is where ive been, this is where id like to go