Timing

Oh the timing of things.
It feels so unfortunate
when I thought it could be
something,
something that affects me
greatly.
Maybe I was too:
selfish, impatient, childish,
alcoholic, confused, dependent,
independent, inconsiderate,
insecure,
inexperienced, unexposed,
passive aggressive,
questioning,
obsessive,
unalarmed,
or all of the above.
Maybe I just met you
and you seem really fun and sexy
& our conversation flows as well as our kiss.
It seems like what I was looking for was this,
but something happens,
something is amiss,
and when I peel back the rosy glass
it suddenly seems more stark
and not what I thought.
Oh you're too busy for this?
Well shit.
Maybe we know each other
and your personality colors
my thoughts with possibilities.
My attraction grows.
We hug and I feel more than skin.
We laugh and it feels natural,
and-
Oh, you have a girlfriend?
Of course you do.
Oh, it's complicated?
Of course it is.
All this timing makes me not
want to know the time at all.
Current circumstances
fucking with my chances.
But I have this feeling
that all this timing
won't matter
when that moment comes along,
and all the timing that was wrong
suddenly will seem to have been in its place
when I place a deeper love to a future face.