Wednesday, April 23, 2014

rough draft. dont judge me-but its out there just like me

I'm tired of sharing my body and heart
& waiting for a response,
Tired of waiting turning into apathy,

Tired of showing my whole world 
& being given a piece.
Tired of past feelings telling me differently.
Tired of fucking up good boys with good hearts
with my issues.
Tired of being the girl who got away
When I just want to be here-
& there, in the moment.
Maybe that's my problem;
I'm so in the moment, 
I don't think about the next possible ones.
I'm the impulsive fuck,
but damn, it feels good.

I'm shallow with options,
looking for deeper depths,
but haven't found them yet.
Tired of thinking I have
& watching my wishes blow away.
I'm tired of being so expressive to bricks,
to nothing, that's it.
"I don't talk, I don't do that."
Memories cut me up at random times.
Don't unhinge my smile when its starting to work again.
Don't say I'll see you around
When that's the first and last thing I want.
Don't tell me you cant be who you were.
You're still you,
However nicely framed you were,
This is you now,
& you cant hold the picture,
You can't stay.
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