Sunday, May 13, 2012

Did you know?

At 24: I like to cook now. I like to run at least 2 times a week. I like to sweat. I know how to flirt better, but I still get shy. I like watching court cases because I like to examine different perspectives & the law. Sometimes I feel like I should study law, then I remember how much I enjoy free/lazy time. I feel like this view applies to everything in my life.
I used to say I would never do x to y because it's been done to me, but I have found myself in the reverse situation (being the bad guy) and I now have a gross understanding of how things aren't so black and white...just because people make mistakes, bad decisions, bad choices, doesn't mean they're a bad person....but it does mean they are misguided and doing the wrong things....life has a fascinating way of proving me wrong.
I'm always better at going down on you if I love you. I realized how awkward and shy I can be sexually if I feel I don't really know you...but oddly enough I can be even more comfortable with someone I don't have strong feelings for or know too well because it doesn't mean as much. It's like if I start dating someone I'm more self conscious. Sometimes I feel like I'm attracted to scandal. I don't like drama, but I do become bored without it. This year was the first time I ever went swimming with a boy completely naked (that applies to my face too). I don't think I'm pretty without makeup, but I am getting better about wearing it less. It's hard to not feel pretty without a heavy mask. Sometimes I think I wear a mask too much-in all sorts of ways. Above anything else though, I want to create laughter wherever I am. That is the sweetest sound to me. I live to improve moods, even at the cost of my own.
I secretly love living with my family, but feel like for their sake and my independence's sake I should move out. I wonder what I'll be saying a year from now.
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