Wednesday, November 14, 2012

sick

I remember my mom saying to me that one of the "tests" in a relationship is how you handle the other person being sick. I asked her in greater detail and saw her mind travel back to the time of the story she was about to tell me," I remember I was going out with this guy for awhile and I got really sick. I mean so sick that I couldn't get out of bed, I couldn't do anything. I would ask him for something and it was like he didn't want to or he didn't have the time. Eventually I had to call my friend so she could get me some groceries and take care of me. That's when I knew I didn't really want to be with him." Maybe I'm a big baby because I expect the treatment my mother gave me when I was a little girl. I used to have a colorful cassette player that had an obnoxious microphone attached to it. I would then put this microphone to work, "Mommmmm, can you bring me some soup please?" and she would. She would sweep her hand over my burning hot forehead and watch terrible lifetime movies with me and bring me hot chocolate. She made it a point not to let me go back to school until I was completely better. This also included fun events such as birthday parties, field trips, and sleep overs. Mom knew there was a white blood cell battle going on inside me, she knew that because of this battle my skin was firing up, my nerves were squeezing in response, that kleenex and generally yummy and soothing things were in demand. Don't try and "be strong" was the message she gave me, that's stupid-just rest and get better or it'll get worse. I like your style, mom.
     I remember one time you were sick. I can't remember how far into the relationship it was, but you told me you weren't feeling well and we were supposed to go have dinner at my brother Matt and his fiance (soon wife! hi Amy! :)Amy's place. I told my mom you were sick, um because we were living there and I tell her pretty much everything. Matt and Amy came over for a surprise visit and we were both downstairs in our room. They called down the stairs to us asking about dinner that night when my mom interjected and yelled out from her bedroom that you were sick. "Ohhh, yeah we heard you were sick are you okay?" Matt and Amy said with a disappointed but sympathetic tone. Alarmingly, to me anyway, this really upset you. "God damn, I'm sick, not useless!"
Baffled by this response I said, "Whoa....I didn't say you were useless...I just knew you weren't feeling good and figured you didn't want to go out."
      "Well you're telling everybody that I'm sick and can't do anything and I feel useless," you snapped back. So we argued about (?) the fact that you felt useless and I didn't think it was a big deal while my brother and Amy awkwardly waited on the stairs and heard this dispute. So they mentioned we could have dinner there another time and climbed back up the stairs. This is when I pulled you aside and said, "You need to be nicer!"
"Okayyy Bones (your nickname for me, don't ask me to explain because I'm not even sure) and you rolled your eyes.
Well rolling eyes just mean rolling words from my rolling tongue to you, "No, you need to be nicer. They were asking if you're okay because they care. My family is very loving and sensitive -when someone is sick we take care of them! You were being a dick. Arguing right in front of my brother and his girlfriend like that-no, just accept their kindness. Don't say shit like you feel useless. That's not what I or we are trying to make you feel like. That's your own damn fault if you feel like that. We just want to care of you, so let us!"
"Okay, I'm sorry Laura Bones." It was a simple apology but I believed you because then you looked like you realized what I had said and it began to sink in. Then you wrapped your arms around my waist and rested your head onto my lap. I started stroking your hair. Yes, shut up and let me take care of you.
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