I knew this situation was not going to work
when we started discussing relationships.
Sometimes you're the one who desperately likes the other
but no matter how charming and pretty you paint yourself to be,
they just dont see it,
it being everything you have to offer.
Other times there's someone who desperately wants you
[to see the it that they have to offer]
& no matter how smart and funny your friends say he/she is,
you just don't see the sexiness.
So I told you about a guy who really tried to show me how sexy he was
but all I could see was a friendly face.
I told you he had all the qualities I valued
but I just couldn't find the lust.
So then you told me about a guy
who really, really liked you.
You said that the fact he went to school turned you on,
BUT he drove this really beat up Corolla,
and just couldn't let it go,
and that really turned you off.
Now I am mentally rolling my eyes
and of course I imagine my old Corolla,
rest in pieces,
the one I drove from the time I was 16 (for almost 9 years)
and yes it had its fair share of fights
"beat up" you could say,
beaten with dents and scrapes
and sex in the back and front seats
and then I took little 'Olla to the snow one day
a place it was not used to
a place where I drove like an idiot
and a mountain punched 'Olla in the face
and a boulder ripped open its stomach
and it bled black everywhere
but this was MY car,
this was the one I had been driving for so long,
that I learned to drive in.
I lost my driving virginity to this car.
This is my first and I love it.
Despite her years and miles and scratches,
despite the fact that after the snowy mountain assault
she couldn't go in reverse,
I kept driving.
I would park in bizarre places so I wouldn't have to reverse,
up a hill, pulled forward, way down the street.
I would put it in neutral, turn it off and then
push with my left leg hanging out of my door
to move out of the gas station.
I did this dangerously, stupidly, for a few months
because I couldn't let her go.
Then a police officer pulled me over
and told me I had to let her go.
I cried watching my car loading onto the tow truck.
I cried and called my friend to pick me up.
So if that whole story to you was a turn off,
then I don't want to be around you anyway.