He doesn't like scary movies or meat,
He likes to stay at home,
He likes to leave his phone behind.
He's sweet and charming,
and then disappears
physically and mentally,
days at a time,
but out of sight out of mind never really worked for me
when my feelings are strong
and I don't know what he feels because he seems careful,
methodical and practical just as in business,
his business, always his business
and how busy this business makes him.
He needs his time to relax,
He needs to decompress after work,
because his mind is still working,
still filing folders,
still making deals,
and I see all that in his eyes.
I see an ambition I don't understand
and I'm not sure I ever will.
I see a logic that has always left me
and sometimes I try to quiet his mind
with a back massage,
calming words,
some weed,
and of course just me entirely,
naked and waiting,
waiting to be pushed into,
but sometimes even that wont do
and I wonder what it is I do this for.
I only remember when there is that
shade of romance in his eyes,
when he seems to be looking deeper than I think,
and I'll be damned if I dont feel a fire in my heart when he kisses me
but fires need to be tended, fires need to grow
they need to consume yet be contained all the same
and I will burn elsewhere if you don't have the strength.
I will catch in someone else's eyes,
but if I don't have to I really don't want to