In these moments
I feel lost and hopeless,
I feel the need for arms telling me it's okay,
I feel the need for a hold to escape my reality,
A touch so intense I forget where I am.

I want so badly

to spread these feelings

over someone else,

To know what it's about,

What I am for all

& none to see,

What I am to you

& what I am to me.

I want to give that to you

but I am lonely and I am restless,

Kind yet reckless,

& scared of my potential;

My mind is the only fence I create,

& I'm so lucky that's the case,

So lucky I knew what love was

before it was ever a word in my world,

to translate word to thought,

to action,

to state of being,

& that's why

to me, and my world

life is worth living!

But
these moments
when I don't know
what to do
or who to see,
or how exactly to be me....
These moments
when I search not for resolution,
but feeling,
feeling connected,
feeling close,
When I can't do anything but hold myself,
my breath,
my hopes,
these moments,
are just for me.