Maybe I was meant to look at it all wrong for awhile.
I needed all the wild nights to compare to stability
& I needed stability to feel stifling.
I needed to be suffocated by unconditional
to discover fleeting & disposable.
I needed to be cruel
& for my heart fly to jaws that looked like nests.
I needed to be as bitter as the drinks poured over
the faithful butterflies in my chest
they landed in the wrong hands, on the perfect words
to strip me down to vulnerability.
the perfect exits & ending speeches...
& there I am again, the only character.
Of course I thought I was the protagonist of my own heart,
that who I would save would save me too...
but really I'm the background to a bigger story,
a bigger theme. This love, this circus of feelings
made to do tricks & impress...act ridiculous,
I wish it would wipe off its makeup, unchain it's wild
& be free.
I've been acting so long I've forgotten
I'm an animal too. If it doesn't suit me why bother...
why wear what hurts me...why ask for anything less than
soul moving, spirit enhancing,
something that deeply & whole heartedly
encourages you to breathe &