Friday, September 16, 2016

I saw your number appear & vibrate under glass
because I have no name for someone who always left
but I know that area code & I froze 
holding a sequence of digits I happen to know
& mine you probably don't, 
it was a string of numbers I held & let go.
My heart beat was as rapid as signals from space 
delivering words from the thoughts in your brain.
I wanted to know how you are, what you might say
but I remember the last time you called I almost cried,
my feelings leaked out from the inside.
I couldn't paint a picture as nicely as you did,
as if there wasn't any dust between us.
I was scared I still wanted you 
so my words caught in my throat for a minute 
& it felt shitty & genuine to tell you I wasn't great.
It was hard to leave you & feel I had to.
In those seconds I wondered if I should again,
if I should answer
but I knew & maybe always did. 

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