I should be, but I dont want to be

alone

I want so badly to provide love and affection and endless ease for you
but I dont even know what I want in return
not even just from you, but from life, my choices
im not sure which inner voice I should let be the loudest
there are some ugly ones that I would like to keep from being let out in public or on a date with anyone else
there are some that could be right or could be telling me what I want to hear
there are some that just say relax, all in good time you will find answers
but how can I relax
when another voice says life is short